I haven’t written since April 19th. I’ve had a weird couple of weeks. A lot of feelings and thoughts to process and also I have midterms going on, which have left me no time to write. So i’m going to just delve right into my brain and hope this little writers block goes away.
Today at school, we took a little field trip out to the orange groves for my agriculture class. We were able to pick the fruit from the trees and eat the various types of citrus grown there. I tried tiny but sweet cumquats, beautiful blood oranges, fragrant mandarins, and weird tiny finger lemons that when you cut them open look as if it were citrus caviar!
Being out there, made me realize how beautiful and sweet life can be.
As I mentioned in a previous post, I have been dealing with anxiety and depression for a couple of years now. I don’t consider myself severely depressed in any way. I still do things, I go to school and get good grades, I go to work and deal with people all day, and I spend time with my friends; however there are times where I can feel like I’m in a deep dark hole I can’t get out of, it is truly suffocating. I honestly feel a little scared posting this as it is so personal to me, but talking about mental health is something that is important and necessary.
I’ve only been blogging for about a week or so, and I was super excited to be nominated to do the Three Days, Three Quotes challenge by these two lovely ladies: Wit & Whimsey and Elodie Tahiti!
I went on a date last night. This may not sound like something out of the ordinary for a 20something year old, but I’m a little weird.
For the majority of my young adulthood, I was with the same person; now that that is no longer the case, one of my friends has been urging me to get back out there and meet new people.
Dating scares me. It terrifies me, actually. I feel that men treat women like they are easily disposable. Especially in a dating app world where you can easily swipe left (or right?) and find a new person. It’s weird. I know it works for a lot of people, but I don’t know, it’s just not for me.
I get anxiety and panic attacks sometimes; If you’ve ever had one, you know how horrible and debilitating they can be. My anxiety got so bad that I wasn’t able to sleep at night, I would wake up every 2-3 hours with my heart beating out of my chest. I really love to sleep so not being able to get a good night’s sleep is torture for me.