I went on a date last night. This may not sound like something out of the ordinary for a 20something year old, but I’m a little weird.
For the majority of my young adulthood, I was with the same person; now that that is no longer the case, one of my friends has been urging me to get back out there and meet new people.
Dating scares me. It terrifies me, actually. I feel that men treat women like they are easily disposable. Especially in a dating app world where you can easily swipe left (or right?) and find a new person. It’s weird. I know it works for a lot of people, but I don’t know, it’s just not for me. I met my date through one of my friends. Anytime we’ve hung out, has been with a group of people, last night was the first time him and I spent alone.
We went to see a movie, he didn’t do anything weird to make me feel uncomfortable, I was happy that he was very courteous and respectful the entire night. After the movie, he suggested we grab some food, so we went to a cool little bar overlooking the ocean. We had great conversation, talked about our jobs, our friends, our childhood, weird things we like to eat, etc. He told me he loved the way my perfume smelled and told me how pretty I looked. Even after the bar closed, we sat outside talking for another couple of hours.
On paper (or in this case, the notes app on my phone) this sounds like a successful date! And I guess it was, except, I felt nothing. I didn’t feel smitten or eager to see him again even though he asked when he’d be seeing me again. I had a great time and was happy to be there, but I would have been just as happy watching Harry Potter in my bed by myself.
One of the reasons I started this blog was to hopefully learn things about myself by writing about my experiences. As of this moment, I don’t think I’m ready to date just yet. There was nothing wrong with the guy, he is actually really sweet and funny, but there was definitely no spark there, and you need a spark. I feel that I still have a lot of learning and growing to do. As I mentioned in my first blog, I will continue dating myself for the time being.🐰
I know I’m probably not the only one who feels this way, when did you feel ready? What does being ready even mean?